Regent Students and the pressure they face to find their soulmate while pursuing a degree.

Marriage is the end all be all of most Christian communities and serves as the foundation upon which many college students base their future endeavors off of. However the culture surrounding this important rite of passage can be harmful to students and even in some cases toxic. The philosophies of feminism and moral conservatism are not mutually exclusive and where the traditional societal roles of the genders are balancing in the outside world the Regent bubble is less permissive. Students at Regent and most Christian universities are pressured into believing the idea that one is expected to find their spouse while away at school which turns the focus away from not only academics but their relationship with the lord during this vital period of personal growth.
The very mythology of Regent is based off of the strange phenomenon of students here getting married young and after only knowing their fiancé for a short period of time. A campus favorite are the warnings of not drinking the Regent water as doing so will make you enter into a hasty marriage. This may seem lighthearted and jovial to an outsider but many students here actually hate this particular meme because it sees marriage as an inevitable consequence of going to Regent and suggests that this perhaps is one of the reasons for attending a Christian school. This saying alludes to the idea that academics are a side project and the sole purpose of Regent is actually finding a suitable husband or wife. The other common catchphrase on campus only reinforces this idea with the notion that one should acquire “a ring by spring.” This establishes a deadline that Regent couples are expected to be engaged by the time they either walk across the stage or drop out of school to pursue an early domestic life. Marriage is a commitment and should not be taken lightly and when one is pressured to acclimate to this time line they are in danger of making a mistake that will have repercussions for years to come with the feeble excuse that “everyone else was doing it”.
College was intended to make scholars out of its students, not housewives, and although motherhood and being a wife are not lesser pursuits they should not be the end goal of attending higher education. A culture that promotes domestication over education is not one that promotes independence or personal betterment especially not for young girls. Girls here especially joke about attending school for their M.R.S degree a play on the title for married women as if school were for the sole purpose of finding a spouse to whom they can be equally yoked to. This archaic notion haunts new relationships, hanging over them like a sword while simultaneously making those without a significant other feel as if they are behind where they should be at this point in life. Young adults come to school tasting independence for the first time and can occasionally rush into things without wisdom and without much thought as to the consequences if the boy they met six months ago is not the love of their life. Marriage should be sacred and when one commits to it without patience and deliberation they run the risk of unhappiness and a lack of personal fulfillment.

Hardly a soul on campus will argue that there is a quiet cultural revolution going on either graffitied on university property, argued about in class, or through the subtle change of ideals. The campus is putting foot after foot towards a culture of equality and away from the pressures of archaic social clocks and gender roles. This is not a move away from monogamy or the natural order of things instead a plea for patience and empathy that comes with the understanding that not every student is on the same path and it can only debilitate young impressionable minds when they believe as such. A healthy prayer life and consistent introspection are tools of the wise and students would benefit knowing the notion that everything happens in its own time and place. Regent should encourage its students in their academics and obtaining a degree before worrying about finding the perfect match when students are still figuring out their lives without the guidance and control of their parents for the first time. Marriage and family life are beautiful and respectable but should by no means be the only priority and endeavor of a generation of students too young to even rent a car.



